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Separate Bedrooms?……..What is a Healthy Relationship?

There is no denying that sharing a bed is one of the most intimate and loving experiences that two people can enjoy in a relationship. It’s in this private space that your connection and deepest vulnerabilities can be safely explored together. While most couples put up with snoring, body heat, restless legs, different sleep-wake schedules, and the constant duvet tugging that interrupts the natural cycles of sleep, a growing number of couples are choosing to sleep apart in separate bedrooms.

A Less Conventional Sleeping Arrangement Could Be the Best Natural Sleep Remedy

Back in the day before the sexual revolution, married couples slept in separate single beds in the same bedroom. Slipping between the sheets of a double bed, for sex and sleep, was considered to be unhealthy and old-fashioned, and it wasn’t until the 1950s that couples stopped sleeping in twin beds. For decades, this singular sleeping arrangement was seen as a sign that a sexless relationship was on the rocks, and that a married couple was heading for divorce. Today, while some couples may sleep separately due to marital discord, an estimated 23% of happy couples choose to sleep apart because they’ve realised that if you’re not taking care of your sleep, you’re hurting your relationship.

The Sleep Divorce

Not all couples are compatible, when it comes to getting some zzzzzs. One of the most common scenarios is: one partner falls asleep and is woken by the sound of snoring, which continues long into the night. Jabbing the snorer sharply in the ribs does nothing to stop the torturous sleep interruption. As a result, one person feels exhausted, resentful, cranky and combative by the morning. This vicious cycle of sleepless nights can lead to relationship damage, and also have a detrimental impact on health and wellbeing; if you want to have good quality sleep you’re better off not sharing a bed. A sleep divorce is the healthiest option for couples that want to save their relationship. Unlike the sleep savvy couples that slept in twin beds in the same room decades ago, modern couples prefer to sleep in separate bedrooms. To strengthen their loving bond, wellbeing conscious couples are prioritising a good night’s sleep over the intimate closeness and sense of bedtime security that make most people want to get into bed with a partner in the first place.

Intentional Intimacy and Sexual Activities

IntimacyJust because two people share a bed it doesn’t guarantee a happy and successful relationship. Although continuous sleeping apart can have a negative impact on a couple’s relationship, if you get intentional about intimacy you can enjoy great sleep and even better sex. Provided that both partners are content with the sleep divorce arrangement, it’s possible to enhance relationship communication, empathy and sexual activity, simply by sleeping in separate beds. Couples that sleep apart are typically more patient and loving, and don’t feel tired all the time. They also have more energy for romantic encounters. Having an open door policy, and slipping back and forth between each other’s bedrooms, whenever the mood takes you, can reawaken the spark and hot passion you shared at the start of the relationship. If you make the intentional effort, it can even feel like you’re having an erotic illicit affair with the person you’ve been committed to for years!

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